You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
