You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
