New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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