So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
