I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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