Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
