"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
