just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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