I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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