good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
