i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
