So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So much rum. So many feels.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
