dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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