I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize