I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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