I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
