you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
