I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
