I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
last night I used snow as a chaser
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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