wanna go halves on a baby?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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