If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
