i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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