so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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