So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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