Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize