Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
