we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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