i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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