it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
