I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
