grandma shit on top of the toilet
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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