is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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