Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
