were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
