Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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