I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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