I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize