this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
