At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
even my farts smell like vagina
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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