Yo dont text me then not text me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
