whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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