you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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