I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The adults are the big ones right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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