Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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