Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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