I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
