Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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