I think i peed on brittanys purse
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
