I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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