what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
