I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My feet surprised me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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