Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You may now shotgun with the bride
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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