Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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