I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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