Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
