i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
