just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just cut my nipple shaving
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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