Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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