just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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