Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
