yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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