i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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