I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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