I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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