Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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