I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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