you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
