I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
