wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
