just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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