I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize