if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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