So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
